November 30, 2011
Kindness counts more than we know
My father has slowed down markedly this year. After a heart attack last year, and a recent fall, he started walking with a cane, moving at a snail’s pace. But like many senior citizens, he refuses to admit that anything has changed.
He doesn’t like driving on freeways anymore, but when I offer to drive, he insists on taking the wheel himself. He doesn’t hear well, and refuses to consider getting a hearing aid. The only concession he has made to aging is agreeing to regular doctor checkups.
It isn’t easy growing older, and it isn’t easy watching your parents age before your eyes. We’re taught to respect the elderly, but most of us forget that when they, literally, get in our way. You can see it on city sidewalks when older individuals who move slowly often stop and stand to one side, allowing faster moving pedestrians to pass them.
Why do the elderly always have to be the ones to step to the side? Because we may bowl them over if they impede our rush to our next destination.
Whenever I go shopping with Dad at his local WalMart, he always looks for the same cashier in one of the checkout lines. No matter how long her line is, he always gets into it so that he can chat a few minutes with a friendly face.
This trip, when we got to the front of the line, his cashier friend noticed that he was using a cane, but said nothing about it. She watched as Dad took the cash out of his pocket to pay for his purchases, slowly counting the bills. The cashier smiled at my dad, then strolled over to the next register to talk to a colleague there.
I looked behind us and saw a long line of impatient customers, waiting as my dad continued to count his cash. I realized his favorite cashier had walked away so that the crowd would blame her for the slow movement of the line, and not my father. When she returned, Dad paid the bill, and she wished him a good day.
I thanked her with a smile for her kindness, and wished her the same.
The elderly we see everywhere may not be our family members, but they should be treated as such. We all grow older, and one of the most valuable lessons that senior citizens can teach us is to slow down.
Life passes all too quickly every day. So slow down. Savor the moments, and be kind to the people around you. It matters more than you know.
November 23, 2011
Opryland reunion brings joy
Two years ago, my friend Christine received the shocking news that she had ovarian cancer. Thankfully, doctors did surgery immediately, and the tumor was removed before it could spread.
Ignoring the rocky economy, we decided to celebrate her continued remission recently with a girls’ weekend at the Gaylord Opryland Resort in Nashville near her home. Call us sentimental, but being surrounded by beautiful holiday decorations in a landmark resort that has come back from a devastating flood was particularly inspirational.
When Middle Tennessee experienced a series of storms last May, the resort and its indoor atriums were flooded under 10 feet of water and had to close for several months. Walking through the resort today, you’d never know that guests had to be evacuated in the pouring rain as electricity failed and darkness fell over the area.
“The lower rooms flooded in the Delta section of the hotel, and people were bused to a local high school,” remembers Hollis Malone, director of horticulture at Gaylord Opryland. “It was a horrible sight to see all the chairs floating over all my plants. It was all mud. When the water in the Cumberland River went down, we mucked the place out, and cleaned and disinfected the hotel. Everyone rallied to the cause.”
More than 3,000 cubic feet of soil was removed to get the odor and contaminants out, and while the plants outside the hotel survived, much of the greenery inside was destroyed. So Malone ordered new plants and restored the gardens with 14 tractor-loads of greenery.
“I like to display different varieties of plants because most people don’t get to see them,” says Malone, pointing out various poinsettias — Sonora White Glitter, White Star, Ice Punch and more — on display for the holidays. “Artificial light makes the bracts fade, so we change them out a couple of times during the season. In the conservatory, no matter what the weather is outside, you feel like it’s a a good day in here.”
Malone’s staff takes care of the waterfalls and fish in the ponds, and maintains 10 greenhouses that are the holding ground for green plants on the property. This year, they’ve also strung more than 200,000 Christmas lights inside and two million lights in the trees outside.
Walking among the twinkling lights creates a feeling of wonder and joy, reminding the spirit that no matter what happens, Love will prevail. In a world where daily schedules can be frenetic, it often takes a jolt — like a health crisis — to make us stop and think about what we’re doing.
Christine’s cancer diagnosis made her examine her life and slow down for the really important things. Her illness made me appreciate our time together all the more, and while we live in different parts of the country, we both resolved to visit together in person more often.
That evening, Christine and I head for Ravello, a new Italian restaurant at the resort named after a resort town on the Amalfi Coast of Italy. Ravello features seafood, spices and vegetables from the area, as well as cheeses and wines from the Campagna region.
The maitre d’fromage comes by with an antipasti selection of cured meats and cheeses that looks wonderful, so we choose a few to try (price varies by selection), along with an eggplant parmesan appetizer ($12) and a caprese salad of mozzarella cheese, slow roasted jewel box tomatoes, and fried basil leaves ($11), which we shared.
I’m not a big fan of cured meats, but the prosciutto di Parma was fabulous, and the Asiago cheese was delicious. The eggplant parmesan had a nice flavor, but was not as tender as we would have liked. Both of us thought the eggplant rind should have been peeled off, which makes eggplant easier to digest. The peeled cherry tomatoes in the caprese salad, however, were outstanding with the mozzarella cheese and garlic olive oil, balsamic vinegar and pesto dressing.
For our entrees, Christine chose the sea scallops and sweet potato ravioli in pumpkin seed pesto with whipped marscapone cheese ($32), and I ordered the filet mignon, served over butternut squash risotto, with mushroom conserva and crispy spinach ($42). Both of us were impressed with our dishes.
Our waiter, a fellow named Samir from Egypt, was so attentive, he asked whether my “medium” preference for the filet mignon should be closer to medium rare or medium well. The steak was done to perfection, which is rare for a non-steakhouse restaurant, and presented beautifully with the risotto and spinach.
Christine had no room for dessert, but I couldn’t resist, and ordered the tiramisu semifredo ($8), which was made with semi-frozen mascarpone blended with espresso and layered between ladyfingers. All I can say is… I cleaned the plate. Yum!
Our only criticism of Ravello was the design of the chairs, which have elongated seats. They’re cushy to sit on, but we noticed that all the women in the restaurant sat as we did — forward on the edge of their seats, without support for their backs. The men who had longer legs, however, could sit back and looked perfectly comfortable.
At the end of the meal, Samir packed a little leftover box for us and shared that he’d worked at Gaylord Opryland for more than a decade. “I take great joy in serving people,” he said. “I ask God every day to tell me how I can better serve.”
Reminders of what is important in life clearly comes into our lives every day. All we have to do is listen.
July 14, 2011
One Drop makes a difference
Guy Laliberte has seen the world from a place most can only imagine. Today, he’s using what he saw to create greater awareness of the water issues facing humanity and the planet we live on.
Laliberte, founder of Cirque du Soleil, became Canada’s first private citizen in space when he journeyed to the International Space Station in September 2009. Knowing that his celebrity would draw attention to the space voyage, Laliberte decided to make a “Poetic Social Mission” out of his adventure.
The artistic event he created, presented simultaneously in 14 cities while he was on the space station, centered around water issues around the world. He established ONE DROP, a nonprofit organization that aims to eliminate poverty by providing access to clean water, and has made it part of his personal mission to create a better world.
“GAIA” (Assouline, $65), a new art book curated by Laliberte, shares more than 150 photographs of Earth taken by the Cirque founder from the International Space Station. All proceeds from the book’s sales will benefit ONE DROP, which aims to provide education, adapted water-access solutions and microfinance lending in developing countries to encourage sustainable development.
“Water is the source of life, and one person dies every 20 seconds from lack of access to clean water,” Laliberte says. “Whether it’s global warming, health care or biodiversity, water is at the center of our most pressing issues.
“There’s less clean water on the planet today. We’re using it in abundance, and we don’t regenerate it. With our current climate situation, there will be massive migrations, and in the near future, it could be the greatest crisis humanity has to face.”
The book, which pairs photos of the planet’s colorful and varied surface textures with inspirational sayings by noted people of all nationalities, is a beautiful reminder that Mother Earth is home to us all.
The words of Khalil Gibran, Galileo Galilei, Rachel Carson, Rumi, and Norman Cousins join with Chinese, Nigerian and Native American proverbs, a traditional Gaelic blessing and more to give voice to images of the Earth’s terrain that seem to come from heaven’s imagination.
“It was an amazing experience and privilege to go up into space,” Laliberte says. “I took pictures like any traveler, and when I started to share the pictures with friends and family, they validated that there was something more there. I met with Prosper Assouline, who produces the best hardcover books in the world, and ‘GAIA’ was born.”
Laliberte believes that companies should incorporate social activism in their business models, so at Cirque du Soleil, one percent of revenues support Cirque de Monde, a program benefitting at-risk youth around the world.
He says Cirque’s goal is to reach the same level of commitment — with another one percent of revenue — for ONE DROP. The ONE DROP effort, however, will be more active outside the company with fundraising events and partnerships with global groups like Oxfam International.
“We live in a global community, and I hope that ‘GAIA’ will bring different states of reflection to people,” Laliberte says. “The text carries strong meaning. Some words are more poetic, and some are strong statements, like the idea that the Earth provides enough for the needs of everybody, but not for everybody’s greed.
“We cannot be blind to the fact that the Earth is not balanced. There are millions who wake up who don’t dream about being millionaires. They think about having enough food and water to survive the day. Our survival will depend on our capacity to connect. To me, more than anything else on Earth, there needs to be more love.
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For more information on ONE DROP, check out http://www.onedrop.org/en/default.aspx
March 23, 2011
‘I Am’ looks at who we really are
If owning a house makes you happy, does buying a more expensive house make you happier? Is it Utopian to think of a world where love permeates everything? At the end of the day, when you get into bed and turn out the lights, who are you really?
In a world where people usually define themselves by the jobs they do, the cars they drive, and the clothes they wear, director Tom Shadyac challenges audiences to look at who we really are, and who we want to be, in a new documentary titled “I Am.”
Shadyac, director of such comedic hits as “Liar Liar” and “Bruce Almighty,” struggled after a bicycle accident in 1987 with post-concussion syndrome, a debilitating condition that pushed the Hollywood player to examine what he was really doing with his wealth and success.
“I’ve always wanted to know what’s true,” Shadyac says. “As I’ve walked that path, sometimes falling off it in the last 10 to 12 years, I became aware of my own hypocrisy and started making changes. It was not a public walk, but after the accident, I made this film because I didn’t want to leave the planet without sharing some of the things I’ve learned.”
So Shadyac gave up his expensive antiques, mansion and private jets, and moved into a mobile home community, determined to live a more responsible life. He hired a small crew to film “I Am,” setting up interviews with people who inspired his spiritual journey — people like Archbishop Desmond Tutu, poet Coleman Barks, evolution biologist Elizabet Sahtouris, psychologist Dacher Keltner and others.
An interview with the filmmaker’s father, the late Richard C. Shadyac, Sr., chief executive officer of ALSAC (American Lebanese Syrian Associated Charities), the fundraising arm for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, yields some of the most poignant moments in the documentary.
“The interview with my father was the heart and soul of the film for me,” Shadyac says. “He showed us the potential of beauty in the world, and our blindness to it. All the people in the film helped change me through their writing, speaking, and work. I wanted to see what they could offer to a conversation about changing the world. I wanted to include people like Maya Angelou and the Dalai Lama, to have more feminine energy and people of color, but couldn’t get everyone I wanted.”
The question of who we are and how we can help make the world a better place is explored through the intersection of science and spirituality, which is seen as walking hand in hand through everything from the innate tendency toward cooperation (rather than competition) in our DNA to the magnetic fields emanating from our hearts that can have an effect on others around us.
As those advocating a paradigm shift in consciousness share, what everyone wants is love. We may think success is about having material goods, but in our hearts, we know what good feels like. We know that the act of giving is the same as receiving. We know when we’ve done something hurtful to someone, and we know when we’ve done something helpful.
The journey Shadyac shares in “I Am” is an expedition that every human being is on. Watching the film is a joyous reminder that we are not alone on the path, and that on the unseen side of life, we already know that we are One.
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For information on where you can see “I Am,” check out http://iamthedoc.com/.
January 28, 2011
Let your star shine…
I don’t plan my life around my horoscope, but I do confess to reading one every morning.
I don’t believe that life is pre-destined. I believe that our choices and actions each day help to create the things that unfold in our lives. Reading a horoscope just triggers responses that may then affect what happens.
For example, if the astrological muse says it’s going to be a day where tempers flare, so watch out for potential arguments, I take it to be a gentle reminder to be kinder to others. Being a double Sagittarius — meaning that the Sun and Moon were both in the same sign at the time of my birth — I’ve always held strong opinions about things, so have to be reminded at times to watch my tongue.
My mom tells stories about me lecturing my father on his behavior… when I was five years old. He used to think my mom coached me on what to say to him, until one day, when I was sick and stayed home from school.
He walked into the living room and found me sitting in front of the television set, which was turned off. I apparently started criticizing my mom for not letting me watch TV, and he realized that my “opinions” were not just directed at him. He then told Mom what a smart girl I was.
Since I’ve always identified with being the Archer in the sky, I’m not too happy with the astronomers at the Minnesota Planetarium Society who have upended the zodiac calendar,. According to them, because of the moon’s gravitational pull on Earth, the alignment of the stars is now off by about a month.
Those of us who are Sagitarrians and Capricorns born between Nov. 29 and Dec. 17 are now classified as Ophiuchus. How do you even pronounce that?
Apparently, the constellation Ophiuchus looks like a man wrestling a snake, dividing the snake’s body in two parts. The sign is linked to being a healer of men and a doctor of medicine or science, or someone who seeks education and enlightenment.
The Ophiuchu is an interpreter of dreams and premonitions, envied by his peers, and is expected to be a successful person.
The sign doesn’t sound bad, but I still prefer being a Sag. Whatever the sign is, I believe we all have to work to get our stars in alignment. We have to take responsibility for the choices we make, think positively, and act with love. Only then will our stars truly shine.
If the Western Zodiac gets too confusing, you can always look up your Chinese horoscope, which is based on the moon’s rotation. The Lunar New Year, celebrated by Asian countries around the world, falls this year on February 3, and ushers in the Year of the Rabbit.
According to Theodora Lau’s “The Handbook of Chinese Horoscopes,” the Year of the Rabbit should be “a placid year, very much welcomed and needed after the ferocious Year of the Tiger. We should go off to some quiet spot to lick our wounds and get some rest after all the battles of the previous year… People will acknowledge that persuasion is better than force.” (Are you listening, politicians?)
She says that the Year of the Rabbit is a time for people to enjoy ourselves, but not to become too indulgent. Money will be made without too much labor, but will also go out the door easily. (Hopefully, that means a continued uptick in the economy.)
“A temperate year with unhurried pace,” she writes. “For once, it may seem possible for us to be carefree and happy without too many annoyances.”
Now that’s a prediction I’d root for.
January 8, 2011
Resolve to be happy in 2011
My eight-year-old niece Emily and I were working on a jigsaw puzzle when she asked, “Do you like your work?”
I said yes, and she asked, “Would you rather be a full-time aunt, or keep working part-time and be a part-time aunt?”
I could try to explain that I work full-time, and am always her aunt, even if she only sees me several times a year. But in her mind, since I don’t live in the same city as she does and am not always available to play with her, I’m not a full-time aunt.
Life is a series of compromises, choosing one thing over another every day. The question is, are we happy with the choices we make?
Most of us think we’ll be happier if we lose that 10 lbs., get married/get divorced, get a new job, make more money. The list could go on and on. But real happiness doesn’t come with just changing our physical selves or surroundings.
True happiness comes with loving ourselves more, something that isn’t always easy to do.
When we make mistakes, how often do we mentally beat ourselves up over them? When we imagine the future, do we see a rosy picture, or a drab one? When we look at ourselves in the mirror, is the first thought a positive or negative one?
Here are a few suggestions for creating a happier 2011:
1. Spend more time with people you love, and who love you. Connecting with others strengthens the heart and gives life meaning.
2. Share your gifts and talents with the world. The more you give to others, the more good will come back to you.
3. Treat yourself to a healthier body. If you hate exercise, and love shopping, park the car and walk to every store you love. If you hate dieting, eat whatever you want in small portions and drink three times as much water with each meal.
4. Find time to completely de-stress every day. Try yoga, tai chi, meditation, massage, or whatever gives you a sense of peace.
5. Get enough sleep. Your body needs the rest, and others will thank you for being less grouchy.
6. Forgive yourself… and others. Holding grudges hurts no one more than yourself.
7. Play more. Do something that makes you laugh and lightens your spirit.
8. Let go of your opinions, and hold on to love. It would be a boring world if everyone thought alike, and getting along with others is easier than arguing, unless arguments are what you really want.
9. Imagine your greatest good coming to you every day. You’ll be amazed at how powerful thoughts really are.
10. Deepen your faith. No matter how you define Divine Wisdom, listen to your heart, and you will hear God speak.
Life may seem like a jigsaw puzzle at times, missing pieces that would make it truly complete. But the happier we choose to be, the more we’ll discover that the pieces were there all along.
December 9, 2010
Explore the power of your dreams…
Dreams are the messages our subconscious sends to wake us up about issues in our lives, to give guidance and comfort in times of need, and to connect us with others on the unseen side of life.
Most of the time, we wake up remembering fragments of our dreams, which quickly fade away unless we write the memory down. If we make the effort to remember and analyze what we dream each night, the insights can help to solve problems or spark creativity in the waking world.
Dream expert Cynthia Richmond, a board certified behavioral therapist and speaker, has put together an easy-to-follow guide to exploring your dreams in her new book, “The Dream Power Journal… A System for Organizing Your Dreams to Enhance Your Life” ($16.95, DreamPower Publishing).
“The original theory was that we dream around rapid eye movements in the sleep state, but studies show that we’re dreaming all the time,” says Richmond, who’s written dream columns for the Los Angeles Times and the Arizona Republic, and appeared on shows like “Oprah, “ “Dr. Phil,” and “The View.”
“Dreams are really another dimension that we can tap into while we’re waking. The Aborigines, for example, believe all time is happening now — that there’s no separation from past and future in time, and that dreams are just a dimension or energy frequency.”
Richmond says understanding our dreams can add so much to our waking lives. Thomas Edison, she notes, invented many things through his dreams by holding ball bearings in his hands when he’d go to sleep, sitting up in a chair. When he relaxed, the ball bearings would fall out of his hands and hit a steel pan, waking him up to new ideas.
Musicians like Billy Joel and Paul McCartney have talked about dreams that inspired melodies and lyrics.
“Our grandmothers used to say, ‘You’re making a big decision. Why don’t you sleep on it?” Richmond says. “In the dream state, our mind can show us different angles and solutions to problems. The majority of people don’t remember our dreams because we’re busy, wake up, and start thinking about what we need to do that day. But you can learn to remember by reminding yourself every night that you’ll remember the dream when you wake up.”
The dreams will evaporate if we don’t write them down, though, which is why Richmond designed her new book with a method for recalling and cataloging our dreams.
The book talks about the anatomy of a dream, dream symbols and understanding your dreams. The journal gives an organized outline for noting main symbols and themes of dreams, how you felt when you woke up, insights and interpretations.
Richmond says we can set intentions for our dreams, asking for information and guidance, and even asking to communicate with those who have departed.
“I’ve worked with John Edward and James Van Praagh, and many people have dreamed about a loved one,” she says. “If you want to invite someone in, you can. Most of us would be startled or afraid if a ghost walked in on us, but it’s safe in the dream state. People should just be careful to surround themselves with white light if they do this.”
By recording our dreams in a journal, she adds, we get the most from our dreamwork.
“I usually wake up once a night, and before I get out of bed, I write my dreams down,” Richmond says. “I want to see what my dream source gives me. When we’re open to being guided, dreams are a great way to tap into our intuition.”
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“The Dream Power Journal…A System for Organizing Your Dreams to Enhance Your Life” by Cynthia Richmond can be ordered on Amazon.com.
November 29, 2010
Holiday season’s just in time…
There are so many things to be thankful for in life. Since we don’t always remember this, it’s a good thing we have a holiday season that forces us to stop and acknowledge our blessings.
As bad as the economy has been, it’s good that people are traveling more to spend time with family and loved ones this year. It’s also good that the protests about full body scanners and pat downs by TSA officials at airports are forcing people to look at what’s acceptable and what’s not in a free society. We may not know how to keep terrorists at bay, but we do know when government dictates have crossed the line with personal freedoms.
I’ve not undergone a pat down, but I have been selected for additional screening of my carry-on items, presumably at random. A couple of weeks ago, I was at London Heathrow, boarding a United flight back to Los Angeles when the security guard told me to go through a booth for additional screening.
One security guard looked through my purse as the other guard started to look through my carry-on bag, stuffed with chocolates and gifts for family. After poking through the first layer, he smiled at me and said, “I trust you. Go on now.”
Either my smile and patient manner impressed him, or he figured that anyone who spent so much money on sweets must have a sweet disposition. In any case, I appreciated meeting someone who trusted his own instincts enough to know an innocent traveler when he met one.
Trust is something many of us have forgotten. We live in a time where people almost instinctively distrust politicians, the media, and each other without thinking. Not surprisingly, others distrust us in return.
This is the season for remembering how to trust again. Our family always gathers at one of my sister’s houses for the Thanksgiving and Christmas meals. Last week, we had 24 seated at two tables. The December gathering will probably be a little smaller, but as many of us who can make it, will come.
I trust that no matter how lively or contentious the dinner conversation may get each year, those seated at the table will be there for each other when needed. I trust that the memories we make each time we share a meal will add to our appreciation of family in the years to come.
From now until the last day of the year, spending time with family and friends becomes my holiday priority. And when there’s time to relax alone, I look forward to reading good books and watching TV shows like the Hallmark Channel movies, Lifetime’s holiday films, and ABC Family’s 25 Days of Christmas, which reinforce trust in the joy of the holidays.
After all, the more we believe we have a wonderful life, the more wonderful it becomes. So give thanks for the blessings you have, and trust that even more joy is on the way.
November 14, 2010
Connecting with inner wisdom…
The winter sunshine in Sedona makes you want to throw off your jacket, even though the temperature hasn’t hit 60 degrees yet. After a day of pampering at the spa, I’m ready to venture out to one of the area’s famous vortexes.
In Sedona, there are several locaitons called vortexes, believed to be places where spiritual energy exists on multiple dimensions to facilitate meditation and healing.
My guide this morning is Johanna Mosca, Ph.D., director of Sedona Spirit Yoga & Hiking (http://www.yogalife.net/index.html). A transplanted New Yorker, Mosca was formerly a teacher specialist for the United Federation of Teachers for alternative high schools in New York.
“Someone took me to a yoga weekend in the late 1980s, and in the 1990s, I took teacher training in yoga and went to India for course work,” Mosca says. “I came to Sedona on vacation, and climbed to the top of Bell Rock every day. I had this knowing that I was going to live here, even though I’d just passed the exams to be a principal. So I left New York, and did my first yoga and hiking retreat in Sedona in 1994.”
Today, she and other guides offer various kinds of yoga, hiking and energy work in Sedona. She says many people have turned to the practice of yoga and meditation, especially in the years after 9/11.
“Our feeling of safety was ripped away by terrorism, and now, with the economy, it’s all changing financially,” Mosca says. “It’s making people realize they need something to help them cope, other than Valium. Sedona’s known for its vortex energy, which helps you to go into your higher consciousness and discover your inner balance.”
She takes me to Airport Mesa, one of the area’s vortexes, which gives a panoramic view of some of Sedona’s best-known red rock formations. The hike up the trail is not strenuous, but because I have depth perception problems, we move slowly.
Airport Mesa/Photo provided by Sedona Chamber of Commerce
Mosca gives a running commentary about the plants along the way, and when we reach a flat rock, we sit and begin to meditate. She talks about how to deal with upsets in life using her four D’s — distinguish the feeling (in other words, figure out what you’re feeling); detach from the feeling, dip the feeling in FGH (forgiveness, gratitude and humor), and design what you’d rather have.
We sit in the silence, savoring the sunshine on our faces. I breathe in the peace, which seems to linger in the air, and feel content. After a few minutes, we close with personal prayers, and head back down the mountain.
It’s amazing how a change of scenery always changes your perspective. You can sit and meditate in the quiet of your living room, but there’s something special about doing it on a moutain in Sedona. Somehow, connecting to the wisdom within seems much easier.
After lunch at Picazzo’s, which has fabulous organic salads, pizza and more, I head to the Spa at Sedona Rouge (www.SedonaRouge.com). This spa facility is smaller than Mii amo at Enchantment, but has similarr massage and body treatments. An hour massage starts at $120, and wellness and intuitive services can go upwards of $200.
The intuitive woman I am to work with calls herself Divyo (www.sedonainnerjourney.com). Trained in massage therapy, myofascial release, and psychology, she talks with me about what treatment would be most beneficial to try.
We agree to do a Family Constellation consultation, which looks at the hidden and visible dynamics in family relationships, with an eye toward understanding conflicts and tensions in a new way. Using a combination of psychology and intuitive understanding, Divyo guides me through an exercise that examines my relationship with my parents and people in their past.
I went through psychotherapy for two and half years in my late 20s, unraveling many of the things that Divyo and I discuss, so it’s not new territory. Listening to her insights, however, opens up a new channel of energy that I can only describe as a lightness of being. I feel less burdened somehow, and my inner wisdom says that something I’ve been longing for will soon be mine.
Family constellation therapy is very different from family therapy. It’s more than talking through issues. It involves tapping into the energetic field that ties families together, and releasing negative feelings to heal your spirit.
Divyo was an excellent guide through the process, which is not to be taken lightly. Opening up the energetic field, for me, involved exploring my relationship with my parents, and a deciision my father had made years before I was born.
Two days after I left Sedona, one of my sisters called, asking me to talk to my father about his health. He’d had poor circulation problems for some time, and was resisting going to a doctor. I called him on Friday, and he assured me that he’d already made an appointment to see a doctor on Monday.
The next morning, I almost couldn’t get out of bed. My body felt exhausted, and it was all I could do to get up by 10 a.m. That evening, a sister called to tell me that our father had had a heart attack that morning.
Thankfully, Dad is okay. The doctor put in a stent, and he’s out of the hospital. Was it a coincidence that I felt wiped out at the same time he had his heart attack? I doubt it. I’m grateful that he’s recovering. And I am grateful for the understanding that I’ve been given about our family on the unseen side of life.
All of us are connected in ways we do not see. The more we accept each other, and ourselves, the happier we will be. The more we forgive each other, and ourselves, the more we will heal.
My trip to Sedona was indeed an adventure in relaxation, rejuvenation… and healing.
Cathedral Rock in Sedona/Photo provided by Sedona Chamber of Commerce
Relaxation and rejuvenation found in Sedona
In a hurry, hurry world, there’s no better place to slow down, breathe, and reconnect with spirit than Sedona, a small town in the red rock mountains of northern Arizona where you’re surrounded by nature and an energy that encourages you to look inward.
I’ve visited the area many times over the years, enjoying walks in the national forest, talks with newfound friends, and peaceful moments, just sitting on a rock somewhere and taking in the view.
After a summer full of emotional ups and downs, I decided to head to Sedona with a clear intention to relax body, mind and spirit. I only had two days, so I filled them with things I don’t normally take the time to do.
This trip, I’m staying at Enchantment Resort (www.enchantmentresort.com), a beautiful hotel nestled in Boynton Canyon that offers a number of activities, ranging from hiking and swimming to cooking demonstrations and spa treatments. From the moment you drive onto the gated property, you are surrounded by pampering.
Since the hotel’s casitas and suites are spread out over several of the resort’s 70 acres, most guests are driven around in golf carts by bellmen who are witty, gracious, and well schooled in the art of flattery. After all, when the first thing a man says to you in the morning is, “What kind of cologne are you wearing? You smell wonderful,” who could resist giving a larger tip?
My first night starts with dinner at Yavapai, the resort’s formal restaurant in the clubhouse. This evening, entrees range from $28 for vegetarian fare and pasta to $42 for meat dishes. I order a Pan-Seared New Zealand Coastal Salmon with Fresh Peas, White Asparagus, Lemon Spaetzle, Pinot Noir Reduction.
The salmon is perfectly done, but the asparagus is overcooked. A dessert called The Forbidden Apple, however, makes me end the meal with a smile. A tiny bit of baked apple in puffed pastry normally comes with cinnamon gelato, but I ask for the lavender ice cream instead, which is divine. Talk about ingesting relaxation.
The next day starts with a morning hatha yoga class at Mii amo, the resort spa. A class of four women follow the instructor through various poses and breathing exercises. While the instruction was what you’d expect at any studio, the tiny cockroach that crawls onto my yoga mat is a reminder that yes, Enchantment is in the middle of desert country where humans must co-exist with critters who were there first.
Mii amo spa/Photo provided by Enchantment Resort
Next comes a Flower Essence Bath, marketed to “relax in the powerful energy of flower essences as you embark on a treatment that combines meditation, the exploration of gemstones, water, sunlight and an in-depth flower card reading.”
Like any spa treatment, the experience is only as good as the practitioner and you make it. I’m asked to choose two “flower essence” cards that correspond to various aspects of life and the energy of various gemstones. The cards I choose are Larkspur, which relates to the body’s fifth chakra of “speaking your truth,” the practitioner guiding me says, and Indian Paintbrush, which relates to the first chakra of “survival and creativity.”
A chakra is one of seven centers of spiritual energy in the human body, according to Hindu and metaphysical philosophy. In Taoism, this circulating life energy is called chi.
After choosing the cards, I am immersed in a tub with rose petals and lavender epsom salts, which is lovely. The practitioner’s “reading” consists of reading from a book that explains what the flower essence cards I’d chosen mean. She mentions hearing the words “Martin Luther King,” “save a child,” “lots of changes,” and “Chicago.”
While “lots of changes” resonate with me, nothing else does. Oh well, the soak in the tub is heavenly.
I move on to a makeup lecture that I thought would give tips on how to more expertly apply makeup. Instead, it ends up being a sales pitch for a line of cosmetics sold in the spa gift shop. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as the makeup artist can analyze your facial structure and skin enough to give you some personalized tips along the way, but alas, that does not happen.
Lunch (and later, dinner) at the Mii Amo Cafe, though, is wonderful. The menu here is lighter, and healthier, than that offered at Yavapai or Tii Gavo, the resort’s casual dining restaurant. New Executive Chef Ted Cizma is working on menu changes that will reflect planned renovations to the clubhouse, as well.
In the meantime, I have a wonderful tuna melt and fruit slices that come to 380 calories for lunch. Yes, the cafe menu tells you how good you’re being to your stomach. I won’t say I behaved as well at dinner, but the smaller portions ensured I didn’t go overboard with the chicken spanikopita Greek vegetable salad, pork tenderloin with pesto tortellini, and lemon cheesecake. (The cheesecake was a yummy 115 calories.)
After lunch, the highlight of the day is experiencing a new treatment called Intentional Massage. Lynette Bazzill, the massage therapist who also had a hand in designing the treatment, asks me to choose a card from a selection created with different colors, words and designs on each.
I’m drawn to two cards — one that says, “I am happy. I welcome adventure.” and another that says, “I am supported. I feel encouraged.” Each card corresponds to a mixture of essential body oils. After smelling the two mixtures, I choose the card of intention for happiness and adventure, which is paired with the essence oils of geranium bourbon, lavender vera and spearmint, made by a Sedona company called Body Bliss.
Bazzill then dry brushes my body, and gives me a wonderful massage with the essence oils I’d chosen. My intention to have a happy day is certainly being realized.
Spa treatment costs average about $150 an hour for various massages and facials. More exotic specialty services — including Ayurvedic treatments, aquawork, energetic sessions and readings — can go up to $370 for 90 minute sessions. Day packages offer lower pricing alternatives.
Mii amo (Yuman for “journey”) was built around a room called the Crystal Grotto, designed to look like a Native American kiva, a place of ceremony and transformation. Crystals are placed in the four directions — North, South, East and West — and elements of Earth, Water, Fire and Air are present in the room.
The placement of the room was designed so that at noon on the Summer Solstice, sunlight falls on the quartz crystal in the center of the room, causing rays of light to dance around the ceiling.
A meditation time is offered in the Crystal Grotto at the end of the day, which I thought was a lovely idea. Unfortunately, when I sit and close my eyes, the woman who leads the guided meditation has a voice that embodies dour depression. Pure silence would have been so much better.
As I walk back to my room, I enjoy the sounds of nature and the falling temperature. A hint of the coming winter is in the air, and I’m happy to turn on the gas fireplace in the casita for a little cheer.
The rooms are nicely appointed, but the walls are thin. I can hear rock music blaring from the room on one side, and water flowing through the pipes of the bathroom next door on the other side.
The nicest touch of the evening turndown service is getting little “thought for the day” cards, which share inspirational words by Native Americans. Tonight’s card says, “What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is in the little shadows that run across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. – Crowfoot, Blackfoot Warrior 1830-1890.”
As I think about my first day, I’m reminded that no one can tell us what direction to go in our lives. The hopes, dreams, and fears that we all carry inside are known only to us. So wherever we choose to go, it’s easier to get there when we set the intention. Since I chose a card today reflecting happiness and adventure, I fully expect that that is what I will find along the way.
Next: Connecting with inner wisdom
